Okay, so here’s the thing, AuDHD is like—you have two operating systems constantly fighting but also trying to help each other, y’know? Like I’ll have a brilliant idea (thank you, ADHD creativity burst!) but then the Autistic demand avoidance kicks in and I literally cannot start the thing because it has too many steps, or maybe the light in the room is wrong, or did I pay that one bill?? Oh my god, the bill! Anyway, the point is, my brain just paralyzes when facing anything requiring sustained effort or organizational skill.

Condition:
AuDHD (Autism + ADHD)

Effect on People Involved:
People think I’m flakey. Like, super flakey. Because I can be wildly excited about a plan on Tuesday, and then on Wednesday, the executive function battery is totally dead and I just cannot leave the house. My friends learned to expect the cancellations. The biggest problem was the burnout—I kept pushing myself to meet neurotypical expectations and then I would crash for days.

Problems Solved:
Self-acceptance is huge. I stopped shaming the cancellations. I found a job that’s project-based, so I can hyperfocus and then recover. I also started realizing that the structure my autistic brain craves actually helps the ADHD side. I schedule sensory breaks. I use a weighted blanket to literally ground me when the energy is too much. It’s about merging the two needs instead of fighting them.

Ongoing Challenges:
The time blindness is relentless. Also, when I start a new hyperfocus (like coding or maybe Victorian poetry), my entire life balance goes out the window, and I forget to eat, sleep, and respond to texts. I’m working on external alarms that are loud but not grating. Wish me luck!