The Invisible Signals: What Are the Real Signs of Autism?

If you Google “signs of Autism,” you will find a list of behaviors observed in young boys: lining up trains, avoiding eye contact, and flapping hands.

While those are signs, they are just the tip of the iceberg. For many people (especially adults, women, and high-masking individuals), the signs are much subtler. They aren’t about what you do; they are about how you feel while doing it.

Here are the three main categories of the Autistic experience, translated from “medical speak” into real life.

1. Social Differences (The “Wrong Planet” Feeling)

The medical books call this “social deficits.” We call it a cross-cultural misunderstanding.

  • The “Script” Problem: Neurotypical people seem to have an innate manual for small talk and social hierarchy. Autistic people often feel like they are guessing. You might mentally rehearse conversations before having them (“scripting”) to ensure you don’t say the “wrong” thing.
  • Eye Contact: It’s not that we can’t make eye contact; it’s that it feels intense and distracting. We often have to choose: “Do I look at your eyes, or do I listen to your words?”
  • Literal Interpretation: We say what we mean. If you say, “Let’s do coffee sometime,” we will open our calendar and ask for a date. We often miss “hints” because we communicate with honesty, not subtext.

2. Repetitive Behaviours & Routines (The Safety Anchor)

The world is chaotic and unpredictable. To survive it, Autistic brains build systems of order.

  • The Need for Sameness: Doing the same thing every day isn’t “boring”; it is safe. If a plan changes last minute (e.g., a friend cancels or a restaurant is closed), it can feel physically painful, like the ground dropping out from under you.
  • Special Interests: We don’t just have hobbies; we have passions. Whether it’s dinosaurs, K-Pop, or coding, we can focus on our interest for 12 hours straight. It brings us deep, restorative joy.
  • Stimming (Self-Stimulation): This is how we regulate our nervous system. It might be obvious (rocking, hand flapping) or subtle (twirling hair, clicking a pen, repetitive leg bouncing). It isn’t a “symptom” to be stopped; it is a tool for calmness.

3. Sensory Processing (The Raw Data)

For a neurotypical brain, the background noise of life is filtered out. For an Autistic brain, the filters are often missing.

  • The “Too Much” (Hypersensitivity):
    • Sound: A vacuum cleaner might sound like a jet engine. Multiple conversations in a cafe become a wall of painful noise.
    • Touch: This is a big one. Clothing tags, tight waistbands, or “itchy” fabrics can cause a meltdown. (This is exactly why Spectrum Threadz removes labels and uses sensory-safe fabrics—to stop the clothes from attacking you).
  • The “Not Enough” (Hyposensitivity): Some of us crave sensory input. We might love weighted blankets, tight hugs, or spicy food to feel grounded.

The “Hidden” Sign: The Exhaustion

If you want to know if someone is Autistic, don’t look at how they act at a party. Look at what happens after the party.

Neurotypical people might feel energized by socializing. Autistic people, even if they had fun, often feel a “social hangover.” We need to retreat to a dark, quiet room to reboot our brains. This is the cost of Masking—the effort of acting “normal” all day.

Summary

Autism isn’t just a list of behaviours. It is a specific way of processing the world: deeply, intensely, and honestly.