AuDHD: Living Life in Paradox Mode (Or: Why I Crave Routine But Hate Rules)

There is an old internet meme that says: “Inside you there are two wolves.”

If you have AuDHD (the spicy combo of Autism and ADHD), those two wolves are very confused.

Wolf 1 (Autism): “We need a schedule. We need order. We need to eat the same breakfast we have eaten for the last 84 days because it is safe and predictable.”

Wolf 2 (ADHD): “Boring! Let’s dye our hair blue, start a podcast, and move to a yurt in Mongolia! Right now! No packing, just vibes!”

And you are just stuck in the middle, staring at your unfinished To-Do list, exhausted.

Welcome to the world of AuDHD.

What is AuDHD?

For a long time, doctors thought you couldn’t be both Autistic and ADHD. (Spoiler: They were wrong).

Now we know that these two neurotypes overlap a lot. In fact, studies suggest anywhere from 50-70% of autistic people also present with ADHD traits.

The community coined the term “AuDHD” (Autism + ADHD), partly because it’s quicker to say, and partly because the chemical symbol for Gold is Au, making us the “Golden ADHD” club. ✨

But living with it? It’s basically a neurological civil war.

The Great Internal Conflict

The hardest part about AuDHD is that your brain has conflicting needs. You are constantly pulling yourself in two different directions.

1. The Routine Paradox

  • The Autistic side craves structure. You feel safe when you know exactly what is going to happen.
  • The ADHD side craves novelty. As soon as you make a routine, your brain rebels against it because it feels like a prison.
  • The Result: You spend 4 hours making a color-coded planner, and then never look at it again because the idea of the planner gave you dopamine, but the reality of following it gave you hives.

2. The Social Paradox

  • The ADHD side is often impulsive, chatty, and wants to overshare with everyone.
  • The Autistic side gets easily overwhelmed by social cues, eye contact, and sensory input.
  • The Result: You impulsively agree to go to a party (ADHD!), and then spend the entire time hiding in the bathroom playing mobile games because it’s too loud (Autism!). Then you go home and replay every conversation for three days wondering if you were “weird.”

3. The Special Interest Paradox

  • The Autistic side wants to study one topic for 10 years until you are a PhD-level expert.
  • The ADHD side gets bored after 2 weeks.
  • The Result: You have a closet full of expensive hobby gear (knitting, resin art, archery, sourdough starters) that you were obsessed with for exactly 14 days.

Why It’s Often Missed

AuDHD is tricky to diagnose because the traits can mask each other.

Your ADHD impulsivity might make you seem less “rigid” than the stereotypical autistic person.

Your Autistic love for rules might make you seem more “organized” than the stereotypical ADHD person.

You end up looking like you’re “coping fine” on the outside, while paddling like a duck on the inside just to stay afloat.

Embracing the Chaos

If this sounds like you, take a deep breath. You aren’t broken. You just have a complex engine.

The beauty of AuDHD is that when the two sides work together, you are unstoppable. You have the deep-dive focus of Autism combined with the creative, lateral thinking of ADHD. You are a problem-solving machine.

The key is balance.

Give your Autistic side the safety it needs (wear the sensory-friendly clothes, keep the noise down).

Give your ADHD side the stimulation it needs (fidget toys, visual art, new challenges).

It’s a wild ride, but hey—at least it’s never boring.

Gear for both your wolves:

🧠 For the ADHD side: Shop the “Power of Focus” Art Print (Turn that chaos into drive).

☁️ For the Autistic side: Shop Sensory Hoodies (Safe, soft, and consistent).