The Interruption Instinct: Why ADHD Brains Blurt Things Out

Of all the traits associated with ADHD, this is the one that causes the most social friction.

You are in a meeting, a dinner with friends, or a deep conversation with your partner. You vow to yourself: “I will listen. I will not interrupt. I will wait my turn.”

And then, before you even realize what has happened, you have cut them off to tell a story about a cat you saw three years ago.

You feel instant shame. They feel annoyed.

But why does this happen? Why is the urge to interrupt so powerful? The answer lies not in “rudeness,” but in the mechanics of working memory and impulse control.

1. The Broken Brakes (Impulse Control)

Neurotypical brains have a split-second pause between having a thought and speaking it. This is the “filter.” It asks: Is this relevant? Is it the right time?

In an ADHD brain, that filter is often offline or delayed. The pathway from Thought → Mouth is a frictionless slide. The thought is spoken before the brain has had a chance to hit the brakes. It isn’t a choice; it’s a neurological reflex.

2. The “Now or Never” Panic (Working Memory)

One of the biggest struggles for ADHDers is Working Memory—the brain’s sticky note pad.

For a neurotypical person, holding a thought while listening to someone else is easy. They just stick it on the mental note pad and wait.

For an ADHDer, that note pad is slippery.

When we have a relevant thought, our brain screams: “If you don’t say this right now, it will vanish forever!”

We interrupt not because we think our point is more important, but because we are terrified we will lose the connection entirely. We are trying to contribute before the data is deleted.

3. The “Me Too!” Connection (Relating)

This is a classic communication mismatch.

  • Neurotypical Style: You listen quietly to show support. Interrupting to talk about yourself is seen as hijacking the conversation.
  • Neurodivergent Style: We often communicate by “relating.” If you tell us you had a bad day, we interrupt to tell you about our bad day.

We aren’t trying to make it about us. We are saying: “I am showing you I understand your pain by sharing a similar pain.” It is a clumsy attempt at empathy, not narcissism.

4. The Dopamine Chase

ADHD brains are starved for stimulation (dopamine). A lively, fast-paced, back-and-forth conversation is highly stimulating. A slow, monologue-style conversation is under-stimulating.

We often interrupt to unconsciously “speed up” the conversation, to keep our own brains engaged and awake. We are trying to keep the energy high so we don’t zone out.

How to Handle It

If you are the interrupter:

  • Own it: A simple, “I’m so sorry, my brain got excited and I cut you off. Please finish that thought,” goes a long way.
  • The Notebook: Keep a physical notebook in meetings to write down the thought so you can “save” it without speaking it.

If you love an interrupter:

  • Don’t take it personally. It is usually a sign of their enthusiasm for you.
  • The Gentle Check: A hand on the arm or a gentle “Hang on, let me finish,” is usually all we need to reset the filter.

We interrupt because we are engaged, excited, and desperate to connect. It’s messy, but it comes from a place of passion.