Neurodiversity 101: A Cheat Sheet for Our Friends and Families 📖🧠

If you hang out in online neurodivergent spaces (or just follow us on Instagram), you might feel like we are speaking a different language.

We throw around words like “Spoons,” “Masking,” and “Stimming” casually, while the rest of the world looks at us like, “Why are we talking about cutlery? I thought we were discussing dinner plans.”

If you are a parent, partner, or friend of a Neurospicy person, this blog is for you. Consider this your official English-to-Neurodivergent Dictionary.

Here are the top terms you need to know to understand your favorite brain-weirdos a little better.

1. Neurospicy / Neurodivergent 🌶️

• The Textbook Definition: Having a brain that functions in ways that diverge significantly from the dominant societal standards of “normal.” (Includes Autism, ADHD, Dyslexia, etc.).
• The Vibe: We use “Neurospicy” because it sounds fun and flavorful. “Disorder” sounds like a broken toaster. We prefer to think of ourselves as having a different operating system—like running Linux when the world is built for Windows.

2. Masking 🎭

• The Definition: Consciously or unconsciously suppressing neurodivergent traits to appear “normal” or fit in.
• What it feels like: Imagine working your “Customer Service Voice” for 12 hours straight. You force eye contact, you sit still when you want to wiggle, and you script your conversations.
• Why it matters: It is exhausting. If your neurodivergent friend comes home from work and immediately collapses into silence, they aren’t mad at you. They just finally took the mask off and need to reboot.

3. Spoon Theory (aka: “I have no spoons”) 🥄

• The Origin: Created by Christine Miserandino to explain chronic illness, but widely used by the neurodivergent community.
• The Concept: You wake up with a limited number of “Spoons” (energy units).
  • Taking a shower = 1 spoon.
  • A Zoom meeting = 3 spoons.
  • Going to the grocery store = 5 spoons.
• The Reality: Once the spoons are gone, they are gone. We cannot just “push through.” If we say, “I’m out of spoons,” it means we are chemically depleted. We need rest, snacks, and zero demands.

4. Executive Dysfunction 📉

• The Definition: A disruption in the brain’s management system (planning, starting tasks, organizing).
• What it looks like: Sitting on the couch for two hours screaming at yourself internally to “Just get up and wash the dishes,” but your body physically won’t move.
• Crucial Note: It is NOT laziness. We want to do the thing. We are often stressed out about not doing the thing. But the connection between “Brain Intent” and “Body Action” is lagging.

5. Infodumping 🗣️

• The Definition: Sharing a large amount of information about a specific topic (Special Interest) all at once.
• The Vibe: This is our Love Language. If we are talking your ear off about the Titanic, fungal networks, or the lore of Warhammer 40k, it means we like you. We are sharing our joy with you.
• Pro Tip: You don’t have to memorize the facts. Just nod and appreciate the passion.

6. Body Doubling 👯

• The Definition: Doing a task while someone else is present.
• How it works: For some reason, an ADHD brain finds it impossible to clean the kitchen alone. But if you sit at the table and scroll on your phone while we clean, suddenly we can do it.
• Why: Your presence acts as a passive anchor that keeps us focused. You don’t have to help; just existing nearby is enough.

7. Parallel Play 🎮📱

• The Definition: Spending time together… alone.
• The Scenario: You are reading a book on the couch. I am playing a video game on the other end of the couch. We aren’t talking. We aren’t looking at each other.
• The Meaning: This is peak intimacy for us. It means I feel safe enough with you to be in my own world while sharing your space. It’s “being alone, together.”

Now you’re fluent!

Send this to your confused relatives, or just keep it bookmarked for the next time someone asks, “What do you mean you’re out of spoons?”

Shop the Lingo:

🥄 Running low on energy? Check out our “Social Battery” Pins.

🧠 Celebrating the chaos? Grab a “Divergent Thinking” Art Print.