Office Hell: Why Fluorescent Lights Are My Villain Origin Story
There are many things that make office life difficult.
- Reply-all emails
- The printer that can smell fear
- People who microwave fish in the breakroom
But for the neurodivergent among us, there is one enemy that reigns supreme. The Final Boss of sensory overload.
The Big Light.
Specifically, those long, buzzing, soul-sucking fluorescent tubes that seem to be installed in every corporate building, school, and hospital on Earth.
If you are neurotypical, you probably walk into a room, flip the switch, and think, “Ah, now I can see.”
If you are Autistic, ADHD, or HSP (Highly Sensitive Person), you walk into that same room and think, “Ah, I see we are simulating the surface of the sun today.”
“I Can Hear the Electricity”
The worst part about fluorescent lighting isn’t just the brightness. It’s the drama.
First, there is the Flicker.
Standard fluorescent bulbs flicker 60 times per second. Most brains filter this out. Our brains? We see it in high definition. It’s like trying to work inside a strobe light that is moving just fast enough to not cause a seizure, but slow enough to cause a rage-induced migraine.
Then, there is the Hum.
Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
If you have ever asked a coworker, “Is that buzzing driving you crazy?” and they looked at you like you have three heads, you are not alone. You aren’t imagining it. You can literally hear the electricity screaming. And it is exhausting.
The “Office Vampire” Life
Because of this, we inevitably become the Office Vampires.
We are the ones sitting in the corner with the overhead lights off, working by the glow of a single, warm-toned lamp. We are the ones hissing when someone flips the main switch on.
Coworker: “Why is it so dark in here? Don’t you want to see?”
Me: “I can see fine, Susan. I just don’t want my retinas to be sizzled like bacon while I answer this email.”
It’s not just a preference; it’s about energy preservation. Processing that much aggressive sensory input burns through our “spoons” (energy units) faster than anything else. By 2 PM, we aren’t just tired; we are physically depleted.
How to Survive the Glare
If you can’t convince your boss to switch to soft-white LEDs (keep fighting the good fight), here is your survival kit:
1. The Baseball Cap Defense
A hat is your first line of defense. The brim blocks the direct line of sight to the ceiling demon. It creates a little shadow cave for your eyes.
(Plus, it hides the fact that you haven’t washed your hair because executive dysfunction won this morning).
2. FL-41 Glasses
Blue-light glasses are good, but FL-41 (rose-tinted) glasses are better for light sensitivity and migraines. Yes, you will look like a rockstar from 1997. Lean into it.
3. Be Clear About Your Enemy
Sometimes, people just don’t know why you are grumpy. They think you’re antisocial.
Tell them. Or better yet, let your coffee cup tell them.
We designed the “Fluorescent Lighting Is My Villain” Mug specifically for this moment.
It’s a black mug (easier on the eyes, obviously) with a very clear message. It signals to the office: “I am not mad at you. I am mad at the photons attacking my brain. Please lower your voice, I have a headache.”
The Bottom Line
You aren’t being “difficult.” You are sensitive to your environment, and that is a valid biological reality.
So, keep wearing your sunglasses inside. Keep turning off the overheads in the conference room. And if anyone complains? Just tell them you work better in the shadows. It sounds mysterious and cool.
Join the resistance against The Big Light.